NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE EMOTIONS OF A 2YR OLD!

So Nur-Jehan has been throwing these serious tantrums for the past couple of weeks wanting to held, wanting to lay her head on my breast constantly, crying that she is sleepy just to get me to pick her up and cuddle her. Am not gonna lie! It has been driving me insane most times. So in the midst of a crying spell yesterday I held her closely and asked "are you scared of Mommy havin a baby" "No" she said sniffling. "Are you scared of Mommy going to the hospital and leaving you?" "No" she said. "You know Mommy is not going to leave you. Mommy loves you and is not going to to leave you. Mommy is going to goto the hospital and you are going to come sleep with Mommy and the baby in the hospital. Mommy is going to ALWAYS love you! I am not going to forget about you when the new baby comes. You will still be Mommy & Daddy's baby, but you are going to be the big girl baby and help us with the little baby..."

I said more, but she totally got it! That was it! She gave me a tight hug and smiled, got off my lap and wanted to play with me. WOW! NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE EMOTIONS OF A 2YR OLD! The rest of the evening was tantrum and cry free!

THE BRAIN... IS PRETTY DARN AMAZING!

I AM IMPRESSED! Nur-Jehan knows her alphabets by sight. At first I thought it was coincidence that she knew what a 'B' was and then an 'A'. When she knew what a 'X' was I was convinced that it was time to teach her all the alphabets. I didnt think she would learn them as fast as she did, but she got them all within a week and a half or so. Currently at 23 months we are learning the phonetics of each letter. Her Auntie, Hafeeza, gave her the DVD, The ABC Factory and that is helping. She watches it 2x a day. I go over with her in one of the chosen library books her ABCs and their sounds emphasizing the sounds and exaggerating the sounds as I give sample words that start with the letter. She is definitely catching on. At this rate I am guessing she can be reading by this time next year or sooner.

My challenge with her right now is what to focus on in teaching her. She is excelling at letters and numbers, but not yet at colors i guess because I did not want to overwhelm her (however I have introduced colors, but not made it a focus.)

Learning is an amazing process because children's brains are REALLY like sponges. Everyday there are many new words and phrases. She picks up phrases that me or Kibwe says and we dont even realize how much we say them. For an example: Jehan says "Aaaaw, MAN!" alot. I didnt realize that she got it from me. I didnt realize how much I said this phrase.

REQUESTING HER INDEPENDENCE...

Jehan is now 23 months. Now at the phase where she is very expressive verbally and through actions. Personality is full blown! Girlyness is in full effect attitude and all. (I love the little girlie expressions that she makes.) She has more interest in her hair and taking care of herself sitting patiently as I braid her hair. Blow drying her afro is just one of the many things that she insists on doing herself. I sit back and watch. She doesnt mind asking for help when she knows that she doesnt quite mastered things on her own yet.

Jehan @ 21mos.

Her Personality...

Jehan's personality is becoming more defined. She has a pretty balanced temperament. Overall she displays a lot of affection and is even developing a reputation of being a loving child. She delivers a lot of tight hugs and kisses to people that she perceive as nice kids and adult women alike. She is weary of every adult male even family. I am thankful of that. I dont want to force her warm to her male cousins or uncles. She does like Grandad (my father's father) and she blushed a lot with my brother but the others she remains distant.

Jehan has her moments of anger and it is usually displayed by her crying and purposely peeing on herself. As soon as me or her father tell her she cant have or do something that she wants she will start crying and then say, "I pee" and then proceeds to pee on herself. She just start doing this. I dont get upset cuz she is still young to be potty trained (at least according to our american culture) I just tell her, "you cant pee just cuz you're crying." or "you know you hafta pee in the potty. Not in your pants." she understands.

Time Is Moving Fast...

Rarely do I get a moment these days just to sit down and update this blog! My energy has resurfaced so I have the mind set to do things, but Jehan is a very focused child (i think that is the adjective I want to use). Anyway, she gets in her mind that "if Mommy opens that computer thing over there, I am going to run as fast as I can and find the heaviest object that I can lift and I am going to throw it as hard as I can at that thing that has all her attention. Oh! and if that doesnt work I am am going to jump into her lap and pretend that I want to breast feed and trick her! Instead I am going to bang the little buttons that she is typing on so fast and watch how mommy screams in frustration AND then Imma jump off her lap as fast as I can and RUN! Yeah that sounds like fun!"

So I just surrender the greater part of my day to doing what Jehan wants! I am trying to get better at giving her specific nap times instead of waiting for her to indicate that she is sleepy. I have not mastered that yet. I guess that comes from her not having her own bed yet, but then again that should not be an excuse. The more she sleeps the more I can get done Right? Wrong, Often times I am walking around in fear of waking her or I hear sounds of her crying but find out that it is just my imagination. I find myself limiting my activities because every other minute I fee l like she is going to awaken! When I put her to bed at night, I fall asleep putting her to bed. As long as I get four hours of sleep, though, I can function by getting up in the wee hours of the morning to get some kind of chores done or internet research or something.

SNOB MOM...

Every parent has their philosophy on parenting. We are no different. I ended up with a husband that has the same ideas about parenting as I do. Well almost. If he could have it his way Nur-Jehan would be vegan, but I told him he is not the one who has to worry about making sure that she eats. I feel as long as she is eating nutritional food not loaded in preservatives and dyes and chemicals and sugar I am doing my job of providing her with healthy meals. We both agree on natural foods and natural alternatives to medication (unless medication is really needed. We aint stupid!) No! We're not gonna have her dressin' in burlap sacks, smellin' like molasses, suckin' on an avocado seed. I think I do pretty well dressing her in stylish clothes. Well... ... when we are at home in the neighborhood we dress... kinda homely. LOL. I guess I have gotten a reputation from neighbors and friends of being an "earthy" mom. I don't mind the label, but that is not my goal. I'm not looking for perfection. I just want the best from the start of her life.

I dont want to feel like a "snob mom" if people offer Jehan chocolate covered sugar cubes with a side of sheet of cake with blue #40 icing. So what, if I prefer for her to eat cupcakes made of lentils and spinach with a beet on top (just kidding). :) I dont wanna have a child with 12 toes just cuz we didn't want to give up Yellow#3 or Monosodium Glutamate or cuz we fed them snacks with an ingredient list of 30 lines.

I see people all the time with weird illnesses like lumps in their skin or sick patchy skin or fairly young people that hobble and wonder "what went wrong in their diet?" "what ailment did they ignore to lead to their disease?" I don't wanna be one of them. Kibwe and I remind each other at different times that in our marriage contract we committed to having good health and reminding each other about health. We committed to take care our ourselves first and our family.

It is my goal and my duty to be at home and raise my children, I feel. Thank God that I have worked independent of a corporation most of my life, so I know how to make an income at home. I am doing that now... making money at home.

THERE'S A DROUGHT!

So my challenge has been producing milk these days. The herb fenugreek works wonders! Take a teaspoon or so of it and BAM! I've got enough milk for a bowl of Wheaties! Recently, the milk supply is drying up and the fenugreek is hardly workin'. I mean, I did say I wanted to wean Jehan by age one and her birthday is next week. She has gone from 15 or so feedings a day down to about 4 to 6 feedings a day. I wouldn't be as concerned if she didnt seem to be so hungry still and if she wasnt sucking on my breast at times waiting for a delivery that never comes.

Jehan has been slow (in my opinion) to taking interest in table food. She has her moments when she eats good and for some reason those times are when we are in public even if it is my home-cooked food that I packed. I think maybe she needs the distraction of something else while she is eating. At home she runs around while I am trying to feed her. She wont sit in the high chair. I dont want her to associate the high chair as a "bad" place that I am forcing food down her throat.

THe foods that she likes best are lentils, rice, cooked spinach, bagels with cream cheese, yogurt, natural potato chips, fishsticks (no preservatives or dyes) and potatoes. I have tried so many other foods, but she just convulses her body and spits it out: carrots, peas, hot cereal like oatmeal and cream of wheat or cream of rice.

This has definitely been one the most challenging parts of motherhood for me. As most of you know food is a big part of my life and I wanna make sure that my baby is getting enough nourishment. I welcome any suggestions or comments.

HER HOMIE!

This is Yusef. They hang out the most together. It's so funny because Jehan is so outgoing and Yusef is real chill and laid back. He allows her to jump on his back and even pull his hair. He actually put his head in her hands so she can pull his hair. If Jehan cries he rubs her back. I now babysit him a few times a week for about 7 hours each day while his mom works.

HANGIN' WITH THE BOYS...

For whatever reason there are only boys for Jehan to play with. The women that I am close with all have boys and Jehan hangs pretty tough. It is funny how when she IS around girls she is acts differently. She lets them be more maternal with her, holding her hand and letting them pick her up, but with the boys she jumps on their heads and pulls their hair.

GROOVIN' ON EID...

Watching Her Watch Me...

I'm really a Mommy! This little girl looks at me. She smiles at me. She kisses me. She hugs me. She holds onto me (and won't let go sometimes) SHE LOOKS UP TO ME! I love her AND SHE LOVES ME! Nooooow I know what the other mothers were talking about. This is a love that I have never experienced that grows by the second. Everyday I look forward to her awakening to see what else she has been instructed by God in her sleep to do to AMAZE me that day. As much as I am sleep deprived and as much as I desire my own peaceful "me" time, when I awake before her I lurk around the corner peeping to see if she has opened her eyes. When she has, she smiles at me and I smile at her and I dive onto the bed and we just... kick it!

DEATH BECOMES MY URBAN GARDEN!

Ok, so I tried to teach Jehan about life and growth and all though gardening, but didn't succeed in the since of maintaining my humble urban garden! I shoulda known! Every time a buy a plant there comes a time where I am not consistent about watering it. We were consistent for a while. We even got some awesome produce from the garden. The Red peppers were the sweetest I ever tasted. It only grew about 6 or seven of them. I grew about 15 or so tomatoes and then they just stopped producing fruit. I think because I had them in pots and their growth was stunted, but my grandfather has a garden in pots and his bears a lotta fruit. ANyway, I just uprooted everything and cleaned up the area for the winter. I will try again next year, but plant in the ground instead. ANd I will set an alarm clock to water the darn things! I just have to actually water the plants when the alarm goes off!

Jehan @ 11 months

Since last entry Jehan has developed a lot. Pottying is GREAT!!! She is up to five times a day on the potty. She totally gets the point. She understands what the potty is for. In fact, when she sits on it I ask her "Where is the pee?" and she thinks hard and contracts her tummy to make herself pee.

Okay so what's the deal with the training? No Jehan cannot ask to go to the potty. I rather understand her urinating schedule almost to a science. I know that she rarely urinates while she is sleep. 100% of the time she goes whenever she awakens whether it is from the night or from a nap. After that she always pees 30 minutes to 45 minutes after the "sleep pee". And then she will go for a while with peeing approx. 1.5 hours. Then I just sit her on the potty. She just smiles while she goes cuz I have made such a big deal in the past. Now she KNOWS she is doing a good thing. I dont have to give her toys anymore to distract her while she sits. As soon as she is finished she knows to sit til I "get the tissue". I am to the point where I let her sleep without a pamper. I just snap the onesie as though they are under panties. I figure by the time she can say words all she has to learn to say is "pee" and she will totally potty trained.

I have always been of the thought that children know what you teach them. You don't have to wait until the social norm to start training and teaching. God-willing she will be reading by age three. I taught my younger sister, Qiyamah, how to read and do multiplication. YEAH AT 3!!!

So she has been walking for almost 3 months. She has started to run. Just in the past couple of days she has been following commands if I ask her to bring me the shoes or bring me the phone or the potato. Jehan has been so obsessed with sucking bottom of shoes even Daddy's size 11 heavy Timberland Boots. I get sooooooo grossed out that I shriek! Now we have stashes of shoes all throughout the house, on the mantles, behind the sofas, on the table, on the bookcases just to get them out of her reach QUICKLY!

TEN TIMES ON THE POTTY!

So every morning Jehan has been going to the potty since July 19th. At first I thought it was coincidental, but realized that their is a pattern here. I only put her on the potty first thing in the morning when she awakens. Usually her diaper is not even soiled from the night and if it is its very little letting me know she really has a lot of urine to come. I sit her down on the potty while I am on the throne and Niagra comes gushing. I give her all kind of praise and then I create an association between the urine and her "goods". A couple of times I still had to clean a mess off the floor cuz her legs are so fat that everything went spraying in the air despite her sitting on the potty. So I make sure that I move the bathroom rug.

Anyway, the past 2 days I have not put her on the potty. Once cuz I was too tired to jump out of bed and take her and yesterday because I was thinking I dont want to over do it. She is sleep at this moment and due to wake up in the next 30 minutes. I will resume the training.

I do believe that children know what you teach them. So, feel like through repetition and example she is learning and, too, because I pay attention to her patterns.